But when it is time muster up the courage to put your foot down and say something, there are many ways to do it— without being rude. This technique is assertive rather than rude. Be the best that you can be and let everyone else worry about themselves. A graduate in Journalism, Media and Communications, she is passionate about in writing, travel journalism, video journalism and Public Relations. In order to be assertive without being mean or rude, you must first view yourself as equal to others, and others as equal to you. ABOUT THIS VIDEO: In this video, I give you 5 tips on how to stand up for yourself without being rude. Sometimes you may fail to stand up for yourself simply because you cannot articulate what needs to be said at the right moment. When acting in an assertive way, you are standing up for your beliefs, morals and values in a calm respectful non-threatening non-violent way. It means having a clear head and enough confidence to defend yourself against someone. This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. Remind yourself of your skills and abilities, and draw your confidence from knowing you have them. Something has to change. These skills can help you stand up for yourself and still treat other people with respect. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. On the other hand, assertiveness means standing up for oneself while respecting others at the same time. These skills can help you stand up for yourself and still treat other people with respect. Have your friend pretend to be a difficult or intimidating person who showers you with put-downs. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. This all depends on your age. Use phrases like "I'd like a little space right now" or "I'd like to be left alone". This article has been viewed 181,630 times. Sometimes assertiveness comes as rude to other people. How should I respond assertively? Getting angry can make you lose control of your emotional intelligence, and is not a good way to stand or speak up for yourself. Look her in the eye and speak calmly and firmly. If you do not know how to do it right, you might end up being wrong even if you are right. Here's your escape plan. TOP PICKS FOR MEN’S “STUFF”: SKINCARE HAIRCARE BODYCARE HEALTHCARE FITNESS ACCESSORIES SHOES CLOTHING SOCIAL MEDIA Website Facebook Instagram Linkedin SUPPORT US I would deeply appreciate your support by sharing my videos with family and friends. There is no need for you to take ongoing abuse from … Standing up for yourself can actually be as simple as literally standing up… straight! Do you think you could get me a clean shirt sometime this century?” The other person can respond assertively with: “The clean shirts are hanging in the closet. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 181,630 times. For example: Raj and Josh waited in line all night for concert tickets. ", http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/assertiveness.html, http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644, http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/FeelingsEmotions/Pages/being-assertive.aspx, http://psychcentral.com/lib/5-tips-to-increase-your-assertiveness/00010836/2, http://www.uwosh.edu/couns_center/self-help/assertiveness/non-verbal-assertive-behaviors, http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/assertiveness2.html, http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644?pg=2, http://www.gp-training.net/training/leadership/assertiveness/broken.htm, http://www.workingatmcmaster.ca/med/document/CYWTH_Apr_2011_VcrEN-1-37.pdf, http://www.acrwebsite.org/search/view-conference-proceedings.aspx?Id=9540, Essere Assertivi Senza Apparire Maleducati, Assertief zijn zonder onbeleefd te worden, consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. "It was very hurtful of you to make those racial comments to Mika" is different from "You're a racist pig.". Be the best that you can be and let everyone else worry about themselves.one of the best ways to show your confidence is through your posture. One person says, “Our guests will be arriving any minute. But only if it's convenient for you, I don't really mind either way.". One of the best ways to show your confidence is through your posture. X That all depends on your age. By using our site, you agree to our. We hop that these tips help you and give your the confidence to stand up for yourself in the future. LEARN HOW TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF WITHOUT BEING A JERK. If a person is not assertive, then they may be passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. Practice explaining how you feel and what you need in a straightforward manner. If the other person begins to threaten you sexually, you are allowed to be as assertive as possible. When you identify your needs and feelings, you can develop expectations for how you want to be treated in the future. As a bonus, this may make them more likely to try to see your side as well. Slouching, hand-wringing, barely making eye contact with others – all contribute to situations wherein you may be treated in such a way as to have to stand up for yourself. As an illustration of rudeness, the bully is not showing respect for Raj and Josh, for their rights and their views. Your simple statement is power enough. Do I have any clean shirts?” The other person responds with, “Yes, there are several in the closet. You look like a loser.” Respond by saying, “You might be right, but it will grow back.”. For example, perhaps you want a raise at work, but you haven't found a good way to speak up about it yet. It, "I am a very passive person. All of us have said yes to a commitment or task we didn’t really want to do. They are excited to see the line finally moving. As Meiss said, "Pushovers avoid confrontation, and are therefore unable to stand up for their own needs." All Rights Reserved. Since there's a very close connection between push-over tendencies and low self-esteem, it can help to remind yourself that no one has the right to ignore you, be rude, or deny your feelings. T know what to say it in a way that I knew what going... It in a straightforward manner guides and videos for free is a that... Or mean confrontation, and you also know you should not be rude and! Wants me to feel badly a limited time while still respecting the,... You really can ’ t be, earning it our reader-approved status fine to how. If a person I know wants me to feel badly 're talking about I hate conflict but. Task we didn ’ t have to ; it is completely optional article... A skill anyone can develop with time and the proper response really depends on what of. A damaged item to a store to get what they want is for me to feel badly and appropriate.! 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